Our wedding was SIX months ago!!!! WHAT!?!? Somehow, time has flown by, and Hunter and I have been married for a little over 6 months. I have loved every minute of living with and spending every moment possible with my husband. I honestly had no idea how rewarding it would be to serve someone and have them serve you on a daily basis.
Hunter and I have been together for 5.5 years. This time 6 years ago was when I really started crushing on him. It truly blows my mind that we are where we are today. Hunter and I met at Bi-Lo where we both worked our senior year of high school, graduated, and went to North Greenville University. We made it through four, very challenging years of college and graduated together. Through those years, we ate a lot of food, watched lots of movies and football, and traveled all over the US. We were together for four years before he proposed to me. Four fun, challenging, exciting years. Years that we needed to get to know each other. Years that we needed to figure out if we were forever.
These days, it is so easy to want to jump into marriage – especially for girls. I find that so many people begin dating and get so excited about their pinterest wedding, that they want to get married before they are truly ready. It was obvious that Hunter and I had four years of college to go through before getting married. But around the beginning of my senior year of college, I was so ready to get a RING. To have the big pinterest wedding (which I did – just not when I thought I would). I needed to lock that boy in and get married the minute I graduated! I was basically hinting to Hunter that I wanted to get engaged in the fall of our senior year and boy, did he make a girl learn patience. The fall passed and I didn’t get a ring. It was fine. The spring passed and I still didn’t get one. (Didn’t he know the rule?! Ring before spring honey!!!!) We graduated and I still. didn’t. have. one. At this point I knew it would come soon. Hunter constantly reminded me that he wanted to be financially stable (thank God) and really ready. I swear we talked about marriage all the time. I hounded him about a ring and he kept telling me it would *sarcastically* be like 5 more years. But he finally proposed in the NEXT fall – a year later. YAY.
But here’s the thing. I needed that year. My senior year, I was so focused on getting a ring. That’s all I wanted. I had major anxiety over it and truly didn’t understand why it wasn’t happening. I knew the Lord was teaching me patience, and it was HARD. I can’t even express how hard that year was. It got to the point where I questioned if we would even be together because he wasn’t proposing fast enough. I would have fights in my own head about whether we would break up or get married. (How ridiculous). Want to know why? I wasn’t ready for marriage. I was ready for a big ring on my finger instead of a marriage. I was ready for a white dress, flowers, a beautiful venue, and all the fun photos. I had this expectation that it was supposed to happen in a specific order at a specific time.
Thank God for growth. In that time, the Lord showed me patience like I have never been shown before. I needed to learn a whole lot more about marriage before Hunter proposed – I just didn’t realize it. About 6 months before Hunter proposed, the Lord began opening my eyes to what it looks like to love a person deeper even when things aren’t going my way. The Lord showed me that it isn’t about the fancy dress and diamond. Y’all. I had no clue how much growth I still needed. Looking back, I realize that Hunter was much more ready than I was. The Lord guided his thoughts and every move. Hunter knew that he couldn’t make a step like that until he got a steady job. He knew that he was in love with me. He knew there was no reason to rush it. And most importantly, he knew that he was taking a bigger step than just buying a ring. He knew that he was making a commitment to me that he would have to live with for the rest of his life. How dare I try to rush such a big step in a man’s life? How dare I bug him constantly about it when he was waiting on the Lord’s timing? It makes me so frustrated to know how anxious I was over getting a ring because the Lord laid it on his heart at EXACTLY the right time.
This is some encouragement to the girlfriend’s, fiance’s, and even single girls. Trust the Lord’s timing. I know it may seem like it is taking forever. I know that a ring is so fun to fantasize about. I know that pinterest has made it so EASY to get caught up in the aesthetics of the wedding. But at the end of the day, it isn’t a wedding. It’s marriage. You are marrying the man who needs to learn to lead you. You are marrying a man who’s ultimate job is to protect and love you. When he is ready, the Lord will lay it on his heart. It will come at the perfect time. And in the meantime, he is teaching you more than you will know. And you probably won’t realize it until after you are married, like me.
Since being married, I have realized what it took to get us to this point. Our wedding was ONE day. Our marriage is a lifetime. The last 6 months of marriage have been the absolute best days of my life. I have grown to love my husband in a whole new way. I have learned to love him when he constantly puts things where my OCD doesn’t want them. I have learned to have healthy arguments with him that are spoken out of love. I have learned that he desires to lead me in love and as a representation of Jesus. I have learned that he is not perfect, and neither am I. Like REALLY. I have learned that he will do the necessary things and will do the unnecessary things – like laundry (thanks babe). I have learned that it’s so much fun!! I have learned that it costs a lot of money. I have learned that it costs a lot more money…lol. I have learned not to EVER argue about money (something we decided together). This is marriage. I have only tasted a small snippet of it, but I am so grateful that I got to grow in those months of “ring anxiety.” I’m so grateful that the Lord showed me that I needed to prepare to be a wife, not a girlfriend with a ring. I’m grateful that the Lord laid it on our hearts to think about marriage instead of just the wedding day. And I am grateful for the Lord’s timing in all of it.
Future brides: love your future husband. And by love him, I mean respect his choices. Don’t beg him for a ring. Respect him by respecting the Lord’s timing. Love him by preparing yourself to be a wife, not just a girl with some bling. Love him by putting the Lord first and growing yourself. Love him so hard that he can see that you are #wifeymaterial. No seriously, your actions speak louder than words. Trust me, I know it is easier said than done. I wish I could go back and smack myself for being so anxious over it. But I am so thankful that the Lord smacked me in the face and showed me that I needed to grow before I was ready for that.
Marriage is so much fun. Just remember, it’s a commitment for a lifetime, not just a wedding day. I can’t wait to see what the next 6 months – 60 years of my own marriage hold. I wouldn’t change a thing about the timing of dating, our engagement, or our wedding (which was perfect btw). If your babe is the Lord’s choice for your future husband, I promise he will be faithful in his own, perfect timing.
6 months of marriage means 6 month anniversary Christmas photos, DUH. Photos taken by my talented friend, Hannah Kerr Photography! Find her work here!
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