As women, we find ourselves constantly comparing ourselves to others. We can’t look at instagram or walk in public without noticing something amazing about another girl that we hate about ourselves. Want to know the underlying truth that is behind all these negative feelings?

We never fully understand ourselves.

Now, I am not just talking about understanding our bodily functions or why we can’t get the guy or why one minute we are happy-go-lucky and the next we are throwing a small temper tantrum. No. I am talking about the fact that we can literally never grasp the importance and depth of our self-worth. We don’t and will most likely never understand.

Here is what I mean by we never fully understand ourselves:

Each woman on the planet has some kind of insecurity and a way of taking that insecurity and denying themselves of all self-worth. Deny it all you want, but we all have insecurities that we do not want anyone to know about and we never fully understand how to overcome them. For example, one of many of mine is (and always has been) being unhappy with the way my body looks in summer clothes and bathing suits. Now, you’re automatically thinking, “oh, she must be a bigger girl.” No girl. Not always.

When I started high school, I weighed right at 100 pounds. But didn’t you hear my above statement? I have ALWAYS been insecure about my body in the summer. Now you’re probably thinking, “Who on earth could be insecure with a body like that?!”

I was.

Growing up I would hear statements, probably almost every day of my life, about how skinny I was. I would hear “You need to put some meat on those bones,” and “I wish I was your size,” and “I wish I knew what it felt like to be a size 0.” I hated it. I was always the smallest of all my friends and I would hear it from them all the time. To be honest they thought it was a compliment, but to me it was more like an insult. Looking in the mirror, I could see my ribs, hip bones, veins in my feet and hands, and shoulder bones sticking out. Maybe some people think that’s nice and pretty, but I didn’t. I was insecure because of every single one of those features. I didn’t think that was pretty, I thought those parts of me were hideous.

As a sophomore in college, I weigh much more now than I did back in 9th grade, and not once between now and then have I been satisfied. Over the years, at all different sizes, the negative thoughts about my body never really went away. I constantly look at myself in the mirror and I see someone who is much bigger than what I used to be; and I want nothing more than to go back to weighing 120 pounds with nothing but muscle on my body. But I probably won’t. Today, looking in the mirror I see thick legs, unattractive love handles, cellulite, and all that other good stuff; and yet, even though I am no longer boney, I’m still not satisfied because I have found new things on my body to hate. I didn’t love my body then and I don’t love it now, so when does this cycle end?

It really doesn’t.

Women have a way of never being satisfied with their insecurities no matter how hard they try. Maybe for you it isn’t your weight. It’s your intellect, your constant need for attention, your jealous mind, your attractiveness, anything. We all have insecurities and it makes life really hard. I am the person who constantly needs attention to feel loved. I am the person who overthinks every single word that my boyfriend says to me. I am definitely the person who puts everything into a friendship and feels like I get nothing in return. I have so many struggles and I spend so much time thinking, being angry, and crying about why I just can’t love myself and quit having these insecurities. Why can’t I just understand myself well enough to be satisfied?

But there is an answer to these insecurities. Not a cure, but an answer.

That answer is Jesus.

You might think that is a very cliche, Sunday school answer, but it is true. Here is why: Even though you do not understand yourself, Jesus understands you completely. Jesus understands your need for attention because he watched you get rejected many times before. Jesus understands that you are afraid to commit because you have been cheated on. Jesus understands that you hate your body because society puts an incredible emphasis on the way you should look. Jesus understands that you want that many likes on your picture because people have compared you to others and made you feel ugly. Jesus understands you.

BUT, Jesus does not want you to feel that way. When you are constantly focusing on these things, you become selfish. You wonder why you’re not good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough, strong enough–and in the midst of all that wondering, you forget that you ARE and have ALWAYS been enough for Jesus Christ. Jesus hung on the cross with you on his mind. It’s mind blowing to think that Jesus knew you before you even existed. He had you on his mind and he fit you right into his purpose for this world. You are enough.

When you are wondering why you can’t understand or overcome your insecurities, blame sin. But remember in those moments that you don’t have to live a life hating and pitying yourself. Satan wants nothing more than for you to focus on your insecurities, but the Lord can help you overcome those things if you give them to him.

Who cares if you have love handles? God made your body in his image. Who cares if that guy leaves you for another girl? Christ will never leave you nor forsake you. Who cares if you’re not as smart as that guy sitting three seats up in class? God gave you a brain that is smart enough to understand that he created everything and sent his Son to die for you. Who cares if your eyeballs are lopsided? God says you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Who cares if someone degrades you? God says you are worth more than rubies. Who cares? You shouldn’t because these are all temporary problems that Satan is using to hinder us from solely focusing on the Lord and his purpose. The point of these silly little insecurities is to give them to God and let him help you through them.

So, you will never fully understand yourself because you didn’t make you, God made you. We won’t understand ourselves for the same reason that we can’t fully comprehend the truth that there is an omniscient God who created and loves us. You can’t ever fully understand the human mind and why your insecurities abuse you.  But there are so many detestable trials that human beings have to go through–death, disease, torture, and so many more. So why let the little things, like tiny insecurities, get the best of you?

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” That is from Ephesians 2:10. Don’t let yourself get so consumed with insecure thoughts, that you forget that God is here to guide, love, and use you.

Shift your focus: Rather than trying so hard to understand and overcome your insecurities on your own, try harder to understand God and his love for you.


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